I was in love with Dakshina a good part of my life. She
never knew that. For her, I was just an acquaintance or probably a person met
and forgotten. One fine morning I went to her apartment when she was packing
her bags to Canada. Her father was sitting in the Verandah in an arm chair
sipping hot coffee. While I stood before him timidly, he looked up through the
copiously flowing steam from his coffee cup curiously and asked, "Yes"?
I was stammering when I said, “Dakshina..."
He looked at me amusingly and turned his head slightly
towards the interior and called out in Tamil," Ammu kutty unne
paakruthukku yaro vandirikku..."(Ammu Kutty, someone has come to see you)
She yelled back," okkaaru solappa.. Naa itha
vanden"(Appa please ask him to sit... I'm coming"
I never knew that her pet name was Ammu Kutty until then
and suddenly admired her for that too. Her father signalled me to sit in a
chair lying adjacent to his. I wondered why the name Ammu Kutty, a typical
Malayali name, is being used by Tamil Brahmins like them.
Her father raised his cup and
asked me," Coffee..."
My roughish mind wanted to tell him "toffee”. But I
withheld myself and said," No thanks Sir"
He was not satisfied with my answer and
asked,"Tea?"
"No sir...I just had tea"
“Then how about some Lassi or Sambharam*"
Oh God this man is unceasing; I thought and moved my eyes
towards the door that opened to the living room. She would come out any minute
emblazoning the dull atmosphere filled with Coffee smell with her radiating
beauty. What would I tell Dakshina...? Bon Voyage? Happy journey? Or something
emotional like- baby I was in love with you all my life... Will you marry me
when you return from Canada?
Her father asked me again restlessly this time in
Malayalam," hello sambharam edukkaam alle?" (Okay shall I bring Sambharam
for you"?)
“No sir... I don't want anything now"
*Dakshinaaa", the man yelled continuing with his
restless countenance.
He used her official name this time and there was no reply
from inside. He got up impatiently and
went inside. My heart was thumping hard. Any time the girl I adored would
appear in front of me. She will be surprised. She will realize how much I love
her. Wings sprouted in my thoughts and when it began to fly her father came
out.
He said apologetically, “She said she is bit busy now and may be can meet
you later"
The thump in my heart stopped suddenly. A puff of air was
pulling inwards within my chest.
Moisture in the throat evaporated quickly. Things around me began to
darken in broad day light. I took a firm hold on the rails of the Verandah and
moved in a waddling gait towards the gate. The coffee man might have been still
standing with the coffee mug looking sympathetically at my weary countenance
walking away.
Couple of hours later I stood outside the airport watching
the Mumbai flight soaring upwards towards the sky. I waved at Dakshina one last
time and fell on the seat of my car dejected. As I turned the keys of my car, I
heard a giggle behind me. I looked through the rear mirror in astonishment and
saw her sitting at the back seat with a broad smile. Yes, Dakshina was sitting
like a victor, chuckling at me. A perplexed me was wondering whether to laugh
or to cry.
*Sambharam-
Buttermilk mixed with ginger, chilly and curry leaves.
Pic courtesy: tanya-s.deviant.com
